Dispatcher

DISPATCHER, DISPATCHER

(sung to the tune of Matchmaker, Matchmaker)

Dispatcher, dispatcher, find me a load;

Get me directions, tell me the road;

Dispatcher, dispatcher, look through your book,

And find me a perfect load.

Dispatcher, dispatcher, I'll bring the truck;

You call the broker charge them alot;

Get me the load for I'm longing to be,

The envy of all I see.

For DOT make it legal,

For bossman make it a good long haul;

For me, well I'd like to recall,

That it paid me for doing nothing at all.

Dispatcher, dispatcher, find me a load,

Get me directions, tell me the road;

Night after night in the dark I'm alone,

So find me a load of my own.

Trucker, oh trucker,

Have I got a load for you;

It's high-pay, it's easy...

Alright, a tarp or two;

But it's not so hard,

A good load, true? True,

I promise you'll be happy,

And even if your not,

There's more loads after that,

Don't ask me what!

Trucker, I've found it;

Will you be a lucky man;

It's high-pay, it's short,

(That is from side to side)

But it's a nice load;

A good load, right? Right,

You've heard it takes a permit;

You'll need to drive at night;

But once you get to New York,

You'll be alright!

You expect high-paid deadhead?

Well I do the best I can;

With no licence, ten tickets, no rig of your own,

Be glad you even ran.

Dispatcher, dispatcher, you know that I'm,

Still very dumb, please take your time;

Up to this minute, I misunderstood,

That I could get stuck for good.

Please, dispatcher, don't give me that;

Remember you are a friend of ours;

It's not that I'm lazy or fat

It's just that I'm out of hours.

Dispatcher, dispatcher, load me no loads;

I'm in no rush, maybe I've learned;

Driving while drinking a guy can get burned!

Tires go flat, brake systems screw up;

Find me no load, tell them I'm sick;

Unless it's the perfect trip.

Re-written by Susan, the wife of a trucker, and formerly the

dispatcher where he worked......

My apologies and thanks to Sheldon Harnick, who wrote the beautiful lyrics to "Matchmaker, Matchmaker" from the wonderful play and film "Fiddler On the Roof"; without whose work I would not have been able to create this parody.......

All text and graphics on this website, and connecting sites, is the sole property of Susan Jane Richards. Do not copy, reproduce, or use in any way, without the express and written permission of the author. Thank you.

This page was last updated: March 20, 2008

Truckers and distpatchers both